I'm fresh out of witty titles at the moment.

Quote of the week:

On Syria: "Psh. We're like the MacGyver of international politics. Give me Girl Scout cookies, PowerPoint, and a Bible and I could fix the world."

Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass quotes came up again this week.  They're just so good.  It wasn't even me this time.

In other news: "Borrowing" the noisiest 4-wheeler ever (complete with flashing light on top of course) and joyriding around base at 11pm? Great times. Random hilarious times are the best ones here. It doesn't have to make sense.

Yeah, I know the post is picture/quote heavy this week.  I love reading, and you have to deal with the fallout.

And I've been able to read more since my routine changed a bit. I finished The Past Through Tomorrow. It reminds me of both Reynolds and Asimov, somehow. It's excellent. If you like sci-fi, alternate history, or psychology you should go read it.

So it was a week where we went to extremes on the working situation front.  There was one really busy 18 hour period, which was busy for unfortunate reasons, and I did get a random tasker from people with lots of stars which was fun.  I love stuff like that - you have 2 hours to solve this problem and oh none of the data is available from any one source so go figure out which five people you have to talk to, and do some math.  ReadySetGo!  :)  I'm not even joking.  I need a job where my job is doing random taskers and putting out fires.  And work arounds.  Goodness do I do work arounds.  Which I suppose makes up for the fact that certain other people just...stop doing stuff.  Er...no.  Not only is there a solution, there's probably a simple solution.

Because, observation: It does not always have to be that complicated.  Talking about it for 20 minutes instead of asking the question you need to solve the problem isn't going to help.  And jamming a 10 second answer into 90 is going to make me stop listening.  le sigh.

My new policy.

On the other hand, there was one day where I spent 20 minutes transposing the complete results of a NASCAR race and lyrics from "Holding Out for a Hero" into mIRC for a friend. THAT. BORED.

That was the day I emailed JBAB and asked for Rosetta Stone Arabic.  Which they apparently don't have.  BUT - the deployment support people are apparently super awesome and went looking at Andrews.  Who only gives it to people actually assigned to Andrews...so instead she went and found, and signed me up for, a different program that I can access here during work online.  For reals.  That was seriously fantastic. Go JBAB deployment support!

 Tasty.

 

Stuff we learned!

- Long day extra hours are the longest not because they're extra, but because they're the most useless.
- Chili spiced mangoes are a thing.  Not bad, but not particularly good.  And I know exactly one person who will eat a bag of them. 
- On the other hand, let's not talk about how much money I just spent on dried fruit.
- I'm going to have to start writting things down.  I'm forgetting things I normally wouldn't.  That's new, and frustrating.
- Three people this week have called me a "good girl".  I didn't actually learn anything from this.  But...when did it become a thing?
- This is why girls should not go to the gym in groups: 
*hot guy walks to the treadmills past four girls on the rowing machines* 
*two of the girls look across at each other and commence commentary* 
And I quote: "He's so hot!  He needs to be tagged for migratory purposes." 
*this continues for ten minutes*
I again quote: "Do I need to go running?  I feel like I need to go running." 
*Sarah: //facepalm*

-S.

The CJOC floor needs more chair dancing.

Quote of the week:

"It's all about the shiny objects." - CJOC Director, a full bird Colonel

          It's funny 'cause it's true.

I totally met a Turkish guy named Aslan this week.  I managed to not actually squeal at him, but I nearly lost my cool.  For reals.

Also saw a camel spider for the first time, which was much less exciting.  Those suckers are just sorta weird and unnecessary looking.

After hearing some of my co-workers go on and on about these peanut butter filled pretzels they had, I tried some.  And they are essentially crack.  I don't even know why.  I think they're from Costco.  Do yourself a favor and go find them.

Unless you're on a diet.  Then don't.  You've been warned.

The minion mafia arrived!!  They have been deployed throughout the office strategically.  I'm not sure how people put up with my shenanigans so well, but they appear to be embracing them.  PLUS they super useful in getting Maj Hatch all riled up, which is hilarious.  She's threatened like 3 people already.  Note that I'm only brave enough to encourage this because I don't actually work in the office and everything in that section gets blamed on Dan anyway.

The medical guy next to me has decided I don't drink enough water and has taken to getting me a bottle of water when he gets himself one, and then placing it emphatically on my desk while giving me a pointed look.  This story is for you, youknowwhoyouare.

It has been quite a slow week, workwise.  I worked on my thesis proposal, despite my lack of motivation, and now I'm letting it sit before I proof it again.  One of the guys here offered to proof it for me but I feel like it's probably bad enough that I don't want the judgment which would ensue (and he doesn't wear a boonie hat, so I can't even just refuse it).

Things we learned this week:

- I miss singing.  Really miss it.  Like, it hurts a little.
- I need to learn to surf.  (this doesn't actually qualify as learning I suppose, but it didn't fit anywhere else)
- Once one gets used to 2x a days, it almost becomes necessary in order to get to sleep at nite.  dangit.
- Speaking of which, that earlier learning about not running with fast people?  Didn't stick.  My ankles hurt.  sigh.
- This has actually been updated every week.  I'm vaugely impressed with myself.

This has been a somewhat boring update tho.  Sorry.  Here is a picture to amuse you.

 

-S.



Reverse bear crawls should not be a thing.

Quote of the week:

"Just as my luf for you sparkles like...sparkly sheep poop."

Yup.  (bah)(L)

What up people, I'm still here and of sound mind and body.  Per usual, anyway.  My week was very odd.  I mean, for here at least.  Several times I had those "...what..what day is it, even?" moments.  People I was particularly fond of left, new people came, my routine has been thrown the whole week because of meetings, I'm back on 12 hour shifts, it was a week where someone I didn't think had such a varying personality has been swinging between cool and being hyper-emotional/treating me like I'm an idiot, and I straight up thought I was going to pass out on Thursday - I didn't.  Go me.  So the whole "nevertheless..." thing was a bit difficult this week.  I'm trying tho.  I made sure that despite meetings I got in a work out last nite and watched an episode of The Newsroom and made sure not to throw things.  I had an irrational desire to pitch my apple core as hard as I could across the DFAC at lunch today.  It was weird.  But woosah.  Staying positive.  Smiles.  It's just one weird week.  It's the things you take for granted.

The Newsroom - I think I've figured out part of why I like this show, in addition to the witty and fast paced and hilarious dialogue (which in and of itself makes the show worth it).  But it's also so idealistic. They get away with trying to fix things in a way which would never get two feet towards the door in the real world. I want to be Mac. But even as a baby Captain I may already be too jaded to be naive enough to believe I can change things and actually do something about it. But then sometimes I get the feeling that my naiveté (Because I'm fully aware that I've still got a lot of that going on. I'm not THAT beat down yet.  Damn the man, save the empire…) makes other people think maybe I can, tho. The ones that tell me I'm not allowed to retire as a major.  And that's encouraging.  I think.

"I am and I always will be the optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of impossible dreams." 
-The Doctor

I was the first call for an event this week.  That was fun, and the whole thing actually went pretty smoothly and all the info got it where it needed to go.  Also, in an unrelated note, briefed the 2-star the other day.  That was fun.

Third Roommate Update: So we had a roomie for like two hours and then she dissappeared.  She had TOO much stuff to fit into a room even normally, I think, and she didn't want to sleep on a top bunk (which was gonna happen) so she volunteered to be in a tent where she has more space and her own area and such.  win-win-win, all around.

Plus I got such good care packages again this week!! It was awesome.  As someone else said, the one from my parents was like a delicious mini-Cracker Barrel gift shop in a box (I share. My mom raised me right.).  People lit up when they saw the moon pies (ok, I only shared half of those. same with the goo goo clusters. mmmmm.).   And the socks and owl stickers are awesome too.  I didn't know they even made socks in such neon colors.  And from Jeff and Lisa, Nutella (that lasted all of 3 minutes) and soup and little awesome useful things! And TEAAAAAAAA.  And my teapot.  Bring on the cold weather.  Thank you lovely people!

For one of the people that left at crossfit, we did a special workout.  It hurt.

Reverse bear crawls are possibly the second worst thing to do EVAR, right behind sit-up-wallballs.

This week we learned:

- Malaria pills can give you weird dreams.  Like, I'm confusing them with real life weird.
- Rest days are good. Rest weeks are much more iffy.
- I want a 1961 Jaguar E-Type.
- Despite having nothing but time to kill, I'm thoroughly unmotivated on the Master's class stuff.  Also, "ok" is not feedback, Mr. professor dude.
- The Captains are going to be the ones who don't freak out about briefing a General.  Intriguing.
- I may or may not have picked my capstone paper topic more than 25% based on my desire to try to work in the phrase "the fourth estate."

- I do not handle other people's unnecessary panic well.  I react by going in the totally opposite direction and being so non-phased and uncaring that it just annoys the panicked people even more.  I also then decide that if they cared what I thought about the situation they'd ask, and I start limiting my answers to "ok" and "yessir."  This is probably not a good reaction.

-S.

The cleaning solution here is flammable. NOTED.

Someone who obviously was not paying attention left me signed up for SOS in residence.  I start tomorrow.  'Cause THAT'S gonna happen.  But no worries, a friend is going to run interference for me with the registrar:

"This girl? That Capt Alford? Yeah, she decided flirting with Scots and stealing pistachios was more important than PME. You should fail her. Immediately."

sigh.  my friends are the best, don't ya think?

Despite that gross misrepresentation of what I do here, after I told anther friend about my day to day, he came up with a much better summary:

"So let me get this straight...

You 'work' 12 hours each day: a little work, blogging, finishing SOS and masters, CrossFit twice a day, and telling off FGOs. And you're doing it in a tax-free combat-zone hardship-duty location, with O-3 BAH from DC.

And you do all of this with super-chill people.

I hate you."

er, well...if you want to look at it that way. yes.

We had a rain/hail storm yesterday and it was fantastic.  The CJOC has a metal roof and it was loud as all get out.  I found it thoroughly enjoyable.  And, it cleared up the air and cooled everything down and I even sat outside to read last nite.  I finished The Little Drumemr Girl and have started a book of short stories by Heinlein. I read the first one last nite and it was quite good.  And, I love the rain.  I think it's going to rain again today.

My hilarious civvie friend Melinda left this week, which is good for her and sad for me.  She fully accepted her co-dependency issues, which meant I always had someone to go to lunch with if I wanted.   Luckily she did not make me co-dependent, and I am still fully capable of eating on my own and reading a book.  I just don't know who is going to say all the things I can't get away with saying now.  There will now be a lot of giggling to myself.  I hope no one gets too creeped out.

We might get a third roomate. Details as they emerge.

Things we learned this week:

- The spray-bottle cleaning solution they leave for us all around here not only kills insects (read: mosquitoes) on contact, it's flammable.  And if you shoot it into a lighter it makes a fireball.  Fireballs ALSO kill mosquitoes.  WHAT DID YOU LEARN, MOSQUITOES? TELL YOUR FRIENDS.  (Side note: Let the record reflect we did not burn anything down.)
- I understand why the Brits don't take our medal system seriously.
- Colonels don't like being told "No, you don't have the authority to do that." Particularly by Captains.
- Hold your tongue when someone says "give him the benefit of the doubt" and your only thought is "On being lazy or on being stupid?"  What we have not learned yet is which is worse.  I lean towards lazy.
- My hands are going to be cracked forever.
- I can facetime from here.
- Don't do thrusters the day after you mess up your shoulder doing hand stand pushups.  ow.  Tho, I don't know if this counts as something I actually learned, since I'm likely to do it again.
- Get back into running before going running with fast people. Also, ow.

-S.

This is why we can't have nice things. //facepalm

I got back from cf the other day to find one of the contractor women in full panic mode, dumping a suitcase out entirely on the cement pad outside her tent. The Marine nearby and I raised an interested eyebrow and went to see what was up. She insisted something was living in her suitcase (which she had apparently not opened in months. First issue...) At first there didn't seem to be anything but YES, in fact, we then heard the squeaking. Of tiny baby mice.

Like this one. Which was then killed by a feral kitten.

Conclusion: maybe they meant it when they said no food in the tents. At least not in the suitcase under your bed you never look at HMMM?

I'm becoming quite adept at the scooter. I can navigate around and under barriers, and I know all the rough patches on my route to avoid.

SOS complete. whoooo!  Now for that last master's class.

In other adventures, there's an Army major who sits in the row in front of me. First off, he's shorter than I am. Let that sink in. He's also bald and sorta an angry little guy, especially on days he doesn't get to blow anything up. He and I have a silent desk conflict (I won't go so far as to call it a war yet) wherein he turns off my monitors whenever he passes by. In return, there are an increasing number of Disney Princess stickers on his badass-blow-things-up job-title card on his computer. They have yet to be acknowledged. But they also have yet to be taken down. I'm not sure how this is going to end, really.

At the moment, we have three people on this job. Because of this I decided we were going to shorter shifts. (I'm not working a 15-hour shift when there are three of us. I am just not.) So now I'm doing 10s, which is weird. It does mean I've started watching The Newsroom tho, which is awesome. Also weirdly, I got pushback from nite-time-guy, who wanted to act like the guy who is leaving soonish is already gone. HahahahaNO. But apparently I'm in charge, so we did it my way, because you only need three days to outprocess and while you're here, you work. So now I get to hang out in my room more (ooOOOOooo). For the curious:

Why yes, that is my USAFA cadet issued comforter. It's a good blanket, stop judging.

What we learned this week:

- I'm a Millennial. Apparently this is a thing.  And it means I have a bad attitude or something.  Investigating further.

- Doing two a days one right after the other when the first one is Bas's cf class which is usually actually two workouts anyway hurts the next day. But then I forget that and do it again. And it's fun. ...I'm an idiot.



- People should just ask the question they need an answer too. The more info I have the better/faster I can find your answer.
- I just love it when people try to do my job.  And get it wrong.  sigh.
- Someone thought I was a senior Captain. Hahahahahahaha. Probably because he's one and he ALSO looks like a kid, but whatever.
- When Nick the Aussie speaks quietly on the phone he is impossible to understand. Completely impossible.
- Boredom knows no logic.
- "Sarah...you have to breathe when you work out."
- Everyone loves snickerdoodles. Everyone. Even the people who had never heard of them before. Wierdos.
- I could use a hug, and a backrub.  Esp a backrub.  Reference the second thing we learned this week.
- Ops Desk Minion LAUGHS. This was an epic discovery.  Bea's take on the matter was 1) "This is going to keep me entertained for...ever." 2) To call Nick the Aussie and make it laugh over the phone at him, to his complete and utter confusion. Minions = Joy.  Other people want to know why they don't have a Minion.

Miss you all terribly. 

-S.